You know, opinions are opinions and no-one is right and no-one is wrong but if you don’t like Big Trouble in Little China then you are dead to us. John Carpenter’s majestic masterpiece is so full of good moments that making a list like this is pointless.
It’s the number one movie that whenever it is on TV, we have to watch it to the end no matter which point we came in at. It’s full of great action, sharp humour and some magnificent individual performances. It’s also THE BEST FILM EVER MADE. Here’s why.
1. “Son of a bitch must pay”
How’s that for a fucking line? Kurt Russell’s portrayal of a typical tough guy is full of phony toughness and played as a parody but when he says lines like that, you have to believe!
2. Dennis Dunn. The little fella never practiced martial arts before taking the role of Wang. However, you wouldn’t know as he kicks and flips his way through the baddies. The martial arts action in this movie is spot on and before Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon came along and blew the illusion with all its overblown wire work, the action here was mindblowing.
3. David Lopan. The eight foot tall truck-chickening demon is truly badass with his ability to shoot light out of his gob but his best moment is in his elderly form when he takes the piss out of a recently-captured Kim Cattrall.
4. The Three Storms. Oh man…. all of them are badass. Especially Lightning who went on to influence Lord Raiden in the Mortal Kombat games. The electricity effects on that guy still look amazing. We’re not sure how useful Thunder’s special ability is though.
5. “Have you paid your dues, Jack?”
YES SIR, THE CHEQUE IS IN THE MAIL.
6. Jack’s face when he has to jump into the hole. Afraid?
7. The scene in the lift.
Jack Burton: Feel pretty good. I’m not, uh, I’m not scared at all. I just feel kind of… feel kind of invincible.
Wang Chi: Me, too. I got a very positive attitude about this.
Jack Burton: Good, me too.
Wang Chi: Yeah!
Jack Burton: Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?
8. The Chang Sing. Do the hand signal to someone who grew up in the ’80s. If they look at you funny, they aren’t worth knowing. Or they are Wing Kong and need hitting with machetes.
9. “Who are these people? Friends of yours, huh? Now this really pisses me off to no end!”
Lopan again. Amazing.
10. Like I told my ex-wife, I never drive faster than I can see. And besides, it’s all in the reflexes.
There we have it. You may not agree it’s the best movie ever but it’s the best kung fu, romantic comedy, ghost story mash up ever. That’s for damn sure. John Carpenter at his very best!