What the hell were you thinking, Bill Paxton?

Oh no. Bill Paxton was amazing right? From his strung-out panicked performance in Aliens, his ‘Lone Ranger’ role in Predator 2 and, of course, his turn as the psychotic vampire Severen in Near Dark, we’ve always loved the Paxton. We even had him as our Quote of the Day last week.

Martini Ranch

I hate them.

So imagine our HORROR when one of our readers, Anita, tweeted us this awfulness. It seems Bill was in some sort of band in the Eighties, called Martini Ranch, and he even roped in his mate James Cameron to direct the video which is a prime example of what happens when you let famous people do whatever they want.

It’s clearly a joke or the product of a frankly industrial amount of cocaine. Either way, we won’t be checking it out again. Mainly because it sounds a lot like Dead or Alive’s seminal-but-awful hit You Spin Me Round or whatever the hell it was called.

Somehow the band (Paxton and his mate whose name I’m not even going to Google) managed to rope in Lance Henriksen, Paul Reiser and Jenette Goldstein, Judge Reinhold, Brian Thompson, and Adrian Pasdar to appear in this, thus stripping them all of legend status too.  This is the worst day of our lives.

5 thoughts on “What the hell were you thinking, Bill Paxton?

  1. Mark

    You know that tumbleweed near the end of the movie… that was my brain at the time.

  2. Andrew Todd

    FROM THE WORST MOVIE EDITOR IN THE WORLD by lil RICHIE at
    “The 80s Movie Club “WORST WEBSITE EVER!
    MARTINI RANCH HATES YIU MORE THAN YOU HATE US ! AND WE HAVE HORE TIME TO HATE ON YOU RICHIE YOU PUNK BITCH, FUCK YOU !!!! HOPE YOU DIE OF BRAIN CANCER. FOR THIS LOVELY REVIEW….see you soon.
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    “Oh no. Bill Paxton was amazing right? From his strung-out panicked performance in Aliens, his ‘Lone Ranger’ role in Predator 2 and, of course, his turn as the psychotic vampire Severen in Near Dark, we’ve always loved the Paxton. We even had him as our Quote of the Day last week.

    Martini Ranch
    I hate them.
    So imagine our HORROR when one of our readers, Anita, tweeted us this awfulness. It seems Bill was in some sort of band in the Eighties, called Martini Ranch, and he even roped in his mate James Cameron to direct the video which is a prime example of what happens when you let famous people do whatever they want.

    It’s clearly a joke or the product of a frankly industrial amount of cocaine. Either way, we won’t be checking it out again. Mainly because it sounds a lot like Dead or Alive’s seminal-but-awful hit You Spin Me Round or whatever the hell it was called.

    Somehow the band (Paxton and his mate whose name I’m not even going to Google) managed to rope in Lance Henriksen, Paul Reiser and Jenette Goldstein, Judge Reinhold, Brian Thompson, and Adrian Pasdar to appear in this, thus stripping them all of legend status too. This is the worst day of our lives.”

  3. Hahaha, shut up you new wave ponce!

  4. It must be so hard to endure an actor in a film(s). I guess interrupting your sessions jerking off in your mother’s basement leads to pent-up aggression. There are dating sites now, ya know? However, you should probably be less than 300 lbs – ya know, just for tact. Try cocaine.

    • I love these comments! MORE MORE MORE!

      Don’t EVER change, Jonathan Hubbell.

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